Where are the adults

So, I’m looking at Facebook, you know, catching up on how people with actual lives are doing, and it turns out one of the ‘kids’ I had as a cadet is going to be a dad; and right below that post was another one of the ‘kids’ I had as a cadet is saying how she will never have children because it just looks some kind of ungodly uncomfortable.


And I thought, damn! These people are going to reproduce – or are in the midst of it now. How in the name of all that’s holy is that right? They are going to have little ‘thems’ running around and asking serious questions and needing to learn how to grow up, but the thing those unborn kids don’t know yet – their parents have no frickin’ idea.

And then…then... I thought…neither do I. How is it, exactly, that I’m qualified to be a grown-up? When I was a kid there were grown-ups – you know, adult people who knew things and who you could turn to with questions and expect answers.

Now? Now, there’s me - us! We sit around writing blogs and carrying on ‘conversations’ on Facebook and some build little pretend farms and … Christ, our children are so screwed it’s almost not worth thinking about.

But then, I did. Think about it, that is. And I expended considerable energy that would otherwise go toward making peanut butter and fluff sandwiches and really tried to remember what ‘adults’ were like when I was growing up. And upon careful reflection, I don’t think the young generation is quite as shafted as one would think – at least not from anything we have done as adults.

I’m lucky in that the age between me and my son is the same age as between me and my dad – so I have a nice frame of reference in which to make this comparison. And while I’ll admit our parents teach us a lot – I mean they kind of have to if they ever want us out of the house – I don’t really remember a lot specifically. I do remember when I was16 and got my driver’s license I already had my own car. When I was trying it out, my dad got in the driver’s seat and was looking it over and giving approving remarks. And then he shifted his glance and looked backward through the gap in the bucket seats and said the following, “Easy access to the back seat – that’s good.”

Wha…? He didn’t give me a conspiratorial wink or anything. He just said it.

So, I had to really think and ask myself, did I ever get any really good information or has every parent since time began really just kind of winged it – making it up as they went in the hopes that they didn’t figuratively pee in the gene pool.

It turns out, and I’m no rocket surgeon, that as I sit here all middle-aged and wondering what ever happened to adults, the sad truth is – nothing. They’ve always been like this. When you’re young, you just don’t know any better because your world is so incredibly small that everybody seems smart. Hell, I thought Capt. Kangaroo was a genius when I was a kid despite the fact he kept falling for Mr. Moose’s ping pong ball trick every single time.

The naiveté of children is what makes it so wonderful to be parent and it’s also probably what makes parents seem like ‘adults’ to the kids. So, while it’s freaking me out a little that people who were sitting in my class two years ago unable to make a decent PowerPoint slide are now making other people, I’m consoled at least by the fact that they really don’t know any less than you or I did – and you know it.