Of all the stupid...

Ok, I haven't actually left New England, so technically I'm not any kind of a bachelor yet. But the days are winding down and the tension - especially with the kids - is starting ever so slightly to ratchet up a bit. But that's not what this is about - this is about something most men do not, or dare I say should not, have to think about.

Curtains.

That's right, curtains. The last guy I knew who took curtains seriously lived in a dorm and had curtains that matched his throw pillows and there were accessories. Other than that, I haven't seen guys I know give a lot of thought to window treatments, valances and drapes (I had to look all those terms up by the way.)

Look, I was all prepared to go to Target or something and buy several really big black or dark blue bath towels and tack them into the wall. Isn't that all you really need in a curtain - something to block the light so you don't have to think about where to position the TV? I don't photo-synthesize so I'm not overly concerned with how they open (or if they open) and I certainly don't care about 'how they hang' or other such nonsense.

As an aside, and by way of explanation ... let's face facts... most men don't really ever 'grow up' or become adults. We find a comfortable place in life - usually somewhere between 16 and 24 and our brains kind of lock onto that and there we stay even if we live to be 100. (The odd male who does 'grow up' can readily be found as a captain of industry or some other form of 'successful' person) In our heads, we're always 19 - we're always 140 pounds and always able to run a mile in 5:12. The reality, (and ladies, we know this, so don't get smug) is that we have grown as people - hell, I've grown to the tune of about 60 pounds since I was 19 and I might clock a 5:12 given good traffic and if I time the lights correctly - but in my head...a lot of space to roam.

So, I'm a victim of dueling chromosomes and there's not getting past it. To me curtains are very single-use items. For about a quarter the cash, I could throw up a couple towels and if laundry day didn't quite pan out one week, I'd still have linen for shower time - multi-functional. And sooooo easy to clean. No vaccuuming towels - just toss 'em in the washer.(no, I don't clean curtains as a matter of course, but people do and I'm sure The Shadow would say I should...)

So, suffice to say, I have curtains packed in my luggage now -- after the somewhat embarassing email to the apartment guy in Texas asking him how big the windows are - which is a whole different kind of embarassment unless you're the guy actually building the space the window will occupy - or a burglar or something.

It's safe to say at this point that my eyes are opening to the myriad bits of 'stuff' that make up a house - especially in the kitchen -- all the junk you just take for granted as being there ... all of a sudden ... isn't. I fully expect that future postings of this blog will have their epicenter in Ikea, Target or whatever passes for a food store in Texas.

Until then, I'm happily not a bachelor at all yet but looking down the road if not with enthusiasm, with at least a journalistic-inspired sense of curiosity - the same type of thing that lead me to the town square on a Friday one afternoon in Riyadh ... I have to hope this will end more tastefully.