Dinner out - bachelor style

So, today, while I was sitting around BOB trying to do my taxes and getting more depressed by the nanosecond, I decided to go out for lunch. In a city the size of this though it's always tough to decide where to go. I could get Mexican. Or fast food. Mexican. Pizza. or Mexican (there are really an awful lot of Mexican restaurants here). So, where to go?

In the end, I did what any good mostly broke bachelor would do -- I went to Costco.

Before you just cast your derisions consider the following:
1. You'll probably end up at Costco at some point anyway, why not go for a reason?
2. The food is free.
3. It's in really tiny portions so there's no chance of getting that bloated, just after Thanksgiving I-need-to-stick-my-hand-in-my-waistband-to-ease-the-pressure kind of thing.
4. It's free. Yeah, I know I already said that, but it's worth repeating.

The big difference between a Costco here and back home is the size. And in the case of giant box warehouse stores, the ladies have it right - size does matter. At the Costco at home, which I believe would neatly fit inside the one here, it's not really much of a lunch and it's really hit or miss on what you'll get.

Here, however, it's all bigger. I had three different kinds of chicken -- plain chicken breast, buffalo-style in little pastry shells with ranch dressing, and another one I'm not entirely sure was chicken. There was some oriental orange beef; some mango fruit; spiral sliced ham; the new peanut butter snickers; cranberries; chocolate milk from a box; a fiber bar; and sausage.

You've got to admit, that's a pretty good spread. I'm certainly not going to hang out in BOB and make myself an 11-course lunch. Not the least reason is that I have no idea how to get those little paper cup things, and I think those are integral to the aesthetic of the meal. It just wouldn't be the same without them.

Now, as wonderful as the free lunch buffet at Costco is, there is still the matter of shopping. Costco is NOT a place for bachelors to shop -- unless it's the guy who draws the short straw and ends up doing the shopping for entire floor of a dormitory or something.

I was looking at Alaskan salmon (want to tick off a Texan? Remind them that if Alaska were cut in half, Texas would be the 3rd largest state. Do that and you're buying your own beer, I guarantee it.) Anyway, I'm looking at this salmon thinking, 'yum, salmon would be good.' Then I gave it careful consideration and didn't buy it.

Why? Because the oven BOB comes with isn't big enough for this thing - not to mention I don't have a pan that would fit a fish the size of a pillow case.

And THAT is the problem with Costco if you're a bachelor. Nothing comes in a size you need. For instance, my grocery list included: bar of soap. Not 12 or 24, just one or two.

Some laundry detergent - just a small bottle for a guy who does laundry once a week? You're buying it by the drum.

Vegetables? 4 pounds at a time.

Fresh fruit? By the case.

Small TV for an apartment? 60+ inches of high def goodness.

Pair of pants with a waist size under 40? Not happening. 

Couple batteries for a flashlight? Make it 20 flashlights.

Muffins? At least a dozen at a time. And here I had to pause and reflect. Because I like muffins. A lot. And while I really like muffins, I'm not about to buy a dozen of them because I'd have to eat them before they went bad. And I would.

And if I did that, it would really kind of defeat the purpose of having lunch there wouldn't you agree?